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Monday, January 21, 2008

I see

When the annals of history are compiled, and the historians have completed their final review, today - the twenty-first of January in the year of our Lord two thousand, zero hundred, and eight, will surely be counted among the most disheartening since the Fall of Man. Today, it was confirmed unto me a certain piece of information; news of which I had been growing increasingly suspicious during the last few months, yet all the more wishing it could be delayed indefinitely. Today, I delay no longer. Today, I was told by a certified Armenian-born doctor of opthamology that I must wear glasses yet again.

My middle name is henceforth changed to "Le Miserable".

I first donned prescription spectacles at the tender age of eight, and wore them dutifully almost every day until, at the ambitious age of twenty-three, I subjected myself to that trauma commonly referred to as LASIK. Said subjection was successful, granting me 20/15 vision and a wastebasket full of prescription spectacles. That was a wonderful day.

But, alas, success was temporary, albeit seven-years worth. (Maybe I should write my own book, "Seven Years Without Eyeglasses.") And so we go on, bespectacled and all. At least, as a friend of mine said recently, my name is still written in heaven. Too bad I'll have to squint to see it.

5 Comments:

Blogger KJ said...

I'm so depressed for you.
But I did laugh right out loud at your last sentence.... :)
Still... it must not be as bad as it once was, right? I mean, you aren't as blind as before - just enough to have to wear glasses again? ugh.

1/21/2008 08:43:00 PM  
Blogger brandywine said...

You're right, KJ...back in olden days, I was blinder than a bat. I couldn't even make out the 'E' at the top of the chart. (Just between you and me, I wouldn't have even known where the chart was if the doctor hadn't aimed me in the right direction.) But now, I just need glasses for driving and other long-distance activities, like shooting 3-pointers.

1/21/2008 10:32:00 PM  
Blogger ahappywife said...

I laughed out loud--at work--at your last line. Perfect humor as usual!

1/22/2008 03:32:00 AM  
Blogger drewey fern said...

Brandon, I'm sorry:( But hey, now you can think "fashion accessories!" Some people get glasses with clear frames just for that look... Yeah...

1/23/2008 09:49:00 PM  
Blogger melrandall said...

I mourn with you. Try contacts! They're kind of like not having to wear glasses!

1/23/2008 11:09:00 PM  

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