The Vacation, Part I
In the words of Dave Barry, "The major advantage of domestic travel is that, with a few exceptions such as Miami, most domestic locations are conveniently situated right here in the United States." For this year's vacation, we decided to visit A Great Number of domestic locations and fortunately for us, most of these locations were inside our nation's borders, saving us the trouble of obtaining passports for our younger children.
The pretense for this year's vacation was Uncle Roy. He decided to put together a wedding, giving himself one of the Major Roles, and ingeniously decided to hold the wedding at a Far Away place called Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City is very Far Away from the place we call home (and from where we live), but we decided, in a moment of irrationality, that if we added A Great Number of other domestic locations to the itinerary, we could do this.
So dark and early on the morning of Wednesday, September 30, we (yours truly, yours' wife Mary, yours' sisters Jane and Amy, and yours' children Jonathon, James, Jeff, Rachel, Joseph, and Renna) climbed into our newly refurbished 12-passenger van and, after about 45 minutes of not being able to go back to sleep, turned on the vehicle and began driving in a generally westerly direction.
We had several minor stops along the way (Dave Barry: A small child can go for weeks without going to the bathroom at home, but once you hit the road, it becomes pretty much a full-time occupation.). Our first major stop was Niagara Falls, a very water-intensive domestic location which actually contains very little, if any, cheese. I had seen Niagara Falls once before, as a youngster traveling with my family to a separate domestic location. That time, we drove past the Falls at 5:30 at the morning, and, as a result, avoided the spurious fees for entering Niagara Falls State Park, parking at the Park, exiting your vehicle at the Park, walking on the grounds at the Park, viewing the Falls at the Park, attempting to swim in the Falls at the Park, and for having a middle name containing the letter 'h'. No such luck this time around.
The weather at Niagara Falls State Park was rainy and it seemed as though the closer one got to the Falls, the rainier it became. It wasn't heavy rain, just the kind of misty drizzle that makes you realize suddenly, after about an hour, that every item of clothing you're currently wearing is completely soaked. Good times.
Our next destination was a cheap hotel on the outskirts of Columbus, OH, in a city referred to locally as Grove City. I won't disclose the name of the hotel, except that it rhymes with ChravelLodge. The manager on duty when we arrived was an individual of terrorist descent and attempted to convince us that we needed to 1) buy an additional room, 2) pay extra money, and 3) make him the primary beneficiary to my retirement plan. After regrouping in our vehicle, we called his bluff and he became much more pleasant. By pleasant, I mean that he yielded on all of his demands and, in fact, I'm now the primary beneficiary to his retirement plan. Unfortunately for me, that means pretty much just a time share in a cave, but I was pleased how things turned out.
The following day, we visited the Creation Museum in Cincinnati, OH, and by Cincinnati, OH, I mean Petersburg, KY. The Museum contained many fascinating features, including a nature walk, petting zoo (only small dinosaurs), and numerous exhibits discrediting the theory of evolution and making the case for creation. There was also a Planetarium, which included space travel and, as is so often the case when traveling across the universe with small children, several bathroom breaks.
Upon leaving the Museum, we immediately began driving in a generally south-westerly direction towards Oklahoma City. After turning around to pick up three of the children which had been forgotten, we proceeded to drive through the night. During the night, Jane and I notched two more installments in our series entitled, Watching Movies in Unusual Ways. To Watching a Movie With a Video IPod, we added Watching a Movie While Driving in the Middle of the Night and Watching a Movie Downloaded from ITunes While Driving 70-Miles Per Hour. And one of those was a twofer: we watched the entire 208-minute Fellowship of the Ring in just over 2 hours thanks to a change in an ingenious feature referred to locally as the "time-zone." Next in the series: Watching a Movie Atop Mount Monadnock in January! Ha!
We arrived at our lodging in Oklahoma City, OK just after 6 a.m. CDT, and when I say Oklahoma City, OK, I mean Norman, OK. Our hotel experience here was much more pleasant, and this particular hotel just might be the Best place in the Western parts of the country. That day (Friday, October 2), we alternatively tried to nap, ate at restaurants with large crowds which occasionally included family, and marveled at the surprisingly flat landscape.
Saturday, The Big Day, we started by going to a local state park which advertised the presence of a playground. We found it, eventually, and, as playgrounds go, it was pretty pathetic. But its location was perfect - in the middle of nowhere - so the kids and their companions were able to hollar and run off several days worth of accumulated energy. Later that day was the actual wedding, a meaningful ceremony that was pleasantly brief. Congratulations to Roy and Bekah Turner!
Sunday morning, we arose dark and early and drove in a generally southerly direction towards the Big D (and I do mean Dallas). Jane and Amy were deposited at what I hope was the proper location at the DFW airport and we drove around the airport for several hours taking in all the scenery - roads, commercial buildings, smog, etc. The DFW airport has a toll based on the number of hours one is at the airport and so, consequently, the roads inside the airport are only slightly less confusing than the Villa Pisani labyrinth. But we did make it out, because we had snuck in a GPS. Ha, ha!
We met Melissa at the Texas State Fair, a little celebration of large hogs, fried butter, and high entrance fees that she cobbled together for our benefit. The Fair included a Children's Barnyard, which the kids really enjoyed, and included such animals as cows, goats, a giraffe, a tortoise, and a small family of *&%$ yankees. After taking in the animal sights and sounds and artery-thickening smells of the fair, we visited a nearby children's museum. The kids played with such things as dinosaur bones and firemen's suits, and the adults visited. Good times, again. Also at the museum was this little contraption referred to locally as an "IMAX." It was about dinosaurs, which was good because it helped us to clarify all of those misconceptions we had picked up at the Creation Museum. It was also the first IMAX any of my kids have seen and it was, upon retrospection, remarkably intense. Jeff kept trying to "dodge" the charging dinos, and even James asked if he could hold my hand. But Rachel loved it. Strange world.
The weather in Texas was not what I expected. When I think of Texas, I think of a hot, dry climate with tumbleweeds passing by and oil gushing out at unexpected moments. But now I am amused that my memories of Texas are against the backdrop of a gray sky with drizzle and a chilly breeze in the air.
Well, now it is time for me to take the rest of the day off (still on vacation), so the balance of our travels will have to be documented at a later date.
The pretense for this year's vacation was Uncle Roy. He decided to put together a wedding, giving himself one of the Major Roles, and ingeniously decided to hold the wedding at a Far Away place called Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City is very Far Away from the place we call home (and from where we live), but we decided, in a moment of irrationality, that if we added A Great Number of other domestic locations to the itinerary, we could do this.
So dark and early on the morning of Wednesday, September 30, we (yours truly, yours' wife Mary, yours' sisters Jane and Amy, and yours' children Jonathon, James, Jeff, Rachel, Joseph, and Renna) climbed into our newly refurbished 12-passenger van and, after about 45 minutes of not being able to go back to sleep, turned on the vehicle and began driving in a generally westerly direction.
We had several minor stops along the way (Dave Barry: A small child can go for weeks without going to the bathroom at home, but once you hit the road, it becomes pretty much a full-time occupation.). Our first major stop was Niagara Falls, a very water-intensive domestic location which actually contains very little, if any, cheese. I had seen Niagara Falls once before, as a youngster traveling with my family to a separate domestic location. That time, we drove past the Falls at 5:30 at the morning, and, as a result, avoided the spurious fees for entering Niagara Falls State Park, parking at the Park, exiting your vehicle at the Park, walking on the grounds at the Park, viewing the Falls at the Park, attempting to swim in the Falls at the Park, and for having a middle name containing the letter 'h'. No such luck this time around.
The weather at Niagara Falls State Park was rainy and it seemed as though the closer one got to the Falls, the rainier it became. It wasn't heavy rain, just the kind of misty drizzle that makes you realize suddenly, after about an hour, that every item of clothing you're currently wearing is completely soaked. Good times.
Our next destination was a cheap hotel on the outskirts of Columbus, OH, in a city referred to locally as Grove City. I won't disclose the name of the hotel, except that it rhymes with ChravelLodge. The manager on duty when we arrived was an individual of terrorist descent and attempted to convince us that we needed to 1) buy an additional room, 2) pay extra money, and 3) make him the primary beneficiary to my retirement plan. After regrouping in our vehicle, we called his bluff and he became much more pleasant. By pleasant, I mean that he yielded on all of his demands and, in fact, I'm now the primary beneficiary to his retirement plan. Unfortunately for me, that means pretty much just a time share in a cave, but I was pleased how things turned out.
The following day, we visited the Creation Museum in Cincinnati, OH, and by Cincinnati, OH, I mean Petersburg, KY. The Museum contained many fascinating features, including a nature walk, petting zoo (only small dinosaurs), and numerous exhibits discrediting the theory of evolution and making the case for creation. There was also a Planetarium, which included space travel and, as is so often the case when traveling across the universe with small children, several bathroom breaks.
Upon leaving the Museum, we immediately began driving in a generally south-westerly direction towards Oklahoma City. After turning around to pick up three of the children which had been forgotten, we proceeded to drive through the night. During the night, Jane and I notched two more installments in our series entitled, Watching Movies in Unusual Ways. To Watching a Movie With a Video IPod, we added Watching a Movie While Driving in the Middle of the Night and Watching a Movie Downloaded from ITunes While Driving 70-Miles Per Hour. And one of those was a twofer: we watched the entire 208-minute Fellowship of the Ring in just over 2 hours thanks to a change in an ingenious feature referred to locally as the "time-zone." Next in the series: Watching a Movie Atop Mount Monadnock in January! Ha!
We arrived at our lodging in Oklahoma City, OK just after 6 a.m. CDT, and when I say Oklahoma City, OK, I mean Norman, OK. Our hotel experience here was much more pleasant, and this particular hotel just might be the Best place in the Western parts of the country. That day (Friday, October 2), we alternatively tried to nap, ate at restaurants with large crowds which occasionally included family, and marveled at the surprisingly flat landscape.
Saturday, The Big Day, we started by going to a local state park which advertised the presence of a playground. We found it, eventually, and, as playgrounds go, it was pretty pathetic. But its location was perfect - in the middle of nowhere - so the kids and their companions were able to hollar and run off several days worth of accumulated energy. Later that day was the actual wedding, a meaningful ceremony that was pleasantly brief. Congratulations to Roy and Bekah Turner!
Sunday morning, we arose dark and early and drove in a generally southerly direction towards the Big D (and I do mean Dallas). Jane and Amy were deposited at what I hope was the proper location at the DFW airport and we drove around the airport for several hours taking in all the scenery - roads, commercial buildings, smog, etc. The DFW airport has a toll based on the number of hours one is at the airport and so, consequently, the roads inside the airport are only slightly less confusing than the Villa Pisani labyrinth. But we did make it out, because we had snuck in a GPS. Ha, ha!
We met Melissa at the Texas State Fair, a little celebration of large hogs, fried butter, and high entrance fees that she cobbled together for our benefit. The Fair included a Children's Barnyard, which the kids really enjoyed, and included such animals as cows, goats, a giraffe, a tortoise, and a small family of *&%$ yankees. After taking in the animal sights and sounds and artery-thickening smells of the fair, we visited a nearby children's museum. The kids played with such things as dinosaur bones and firemen's suits, and the adults visited. Good times, again. Also at the museum was this little contraption referred to locally as an "IMAX." It was about dinosaurs, which was good because it helped us to clarify all of those misconceptions we had picked up at the Creation Museum. It was also the first IMAX any of my kids have seen and it was, upon retrospection, remarkably intense. Jeff kept trying to "dodge" the charging dinos, and even James asked if he could hold my hand. But Rachel loved it. Strange world.
The weather in Texas was not what I expected. When I think of Texas, I think of a hot, dry climate with tumbleweeds passing by and oil gushing out at unexpected moments. But now I am amused that my memories of Texas are against the backdrop of a gray sky with drizzle and a chilly breeze in the air.
Well, now it is time for me to take the rest of the day off (still on vacation), so the balance of our travels will have to be documented at a later date.
posted by brandywine on Wednesday, October 14, 2009
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