The First Test of ParentHood

When I was in Yellowstone, some of us guys (of the male persuasion) developed The Five Tests of Manhood, that is, that having accomplished said tests would give one confidence, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that he was "A Man." One of them was plucking a hair from a buffalo...another was bike-riding the Lower Loop (approx 85 miles and 3,000 ft change in elevation)...and there were others that I won't take the time to mention now, mainly because I can't remember them.

I thought of all this recently when Mary and I took One Of The Five Tests of Parenthood, to wit, to navigate an entire family where the children outnumber the parents two to one and the baggage outnumber all of them put together almost three to one through TWO airports in one 24-hour period.

And this is what we did, having been given the means and opportunity to fly to Georgia for Thanksgiving. Here are a few highlights:

• Going through security was laughable it was so crazy. Here we had seven carryon items and a laptop, and everyone had to take off their shoes, even the smallest of our number, who is a mere 18 months old. But the funny part was getting Rachel to go through the metal detector by herself. "Come here, Rachel. That's right! Just walk normally, Rachel. Keep your hands at your sides and no sudden movements, please. And no jokes about bombs, boys, or you'll have us arrested."
• The two older boys were completely fascinated with being in the airplane, and especially the take-off. As we left the tarmac and began ascending, Jonathon hollared, "Oh, Daddy, I just love riding on airplanes!"
• Our carrier, which I will not name here, except to say that it rhymes with Belta, feigned the loss of three of our four carseats. Only one of them was at baggage claim, you see, so I went to baggage services to fetch the other three. The service woman who "helped" me worked on our case very diligently: she looked in the backroom for them, she listened intently to the dial tone on her phone (just in case!), she looked "downstairs" for them, and she frowned at her computer screen in a most professional and serious manner. But she couldn't find them. So, she went into the back room to get us some loaners and lo, and behold, as she opened the door to said 'back room', I spied OUR carseats sitting right there, in plain view. So I grabbed them and marched off to rejoin my family which, by this time, had been sitting in the car for almost an hour.

So, we left our home at 2:30 PM EST on Friday, and I finally lay down to sleep at 1:40 AM EST on Saturday. Nothing like traveling abroad, of course, but with a family, and a family's worth of loot in tow, it sure made for the adventure. Our first day here, which was an extended family reunion nearby, was a smashing success, but I don't have the time to describe it more fully right now. Besides, I've just about reached my word lim