The wonders of air travel
Douglas Adams once wrote that, "It can hardly be coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the phrase, 'as pretty as an airport.' Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of special effort."
I would add that the Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport With Never-Ending Concourses And An Even Longer Name was never uglier than it was to me Friday morning. We flew back home Friday morning, but I almost couldn't do it.
Thursday morning, I felt a cold coming on. Thursday afternoon, it (the cold) was building steam (or congestion, as the case may be). Friday morning, I awoke with the alarm at 5:15am to find myself congested, headached, and fevered. After I had a bite of breakfast, I was nauseated. And it was all downhill from there.
On the way to the airport, I passed out.
Upon arriving at the airport, I conducted a poll of myself: 34% of me wanted to try to go anyway, 33% of me wanted to go back and fly away some other day, and 33% of me just wanted to die and be done with it. So I plopped into a wheelchair and gave it a whirl (not literally). Then, I sat dazed in the wheelchair all through check-in, security, waiting at the gate, and boarding. Which makes me thankful for my patient and gracious father-in-law, who pushed me around on aforesaid wheelchair and waited with me until I boarded the plane. And thankful for my wife who attended to all the children in the airport, on the airplane, and here at home while I've recovered. Whew!
But I didn't have to go through security, which was nice. I mean, some feller frowned at me and patted me down, but I didn't have to walk through that blooming metal detector. And I did make it home, which is what a plurality of me wanted. And I am recovering, which generally just makes me feel better all around.
So it wasn't the end of the world, as a minority of me had hoped, but it yet might be a while before I visit an airport again, or have scrambled eggs.
I would add that the Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport With Never-Ending Concourses And An Even Longer Name was never uglier than it was to me Friday morning. We flew back home Friday morning, but I almost couldn't do it.
Thursday morning, I felt a cold coming on. Thursday afternoon, it (the cold) was building steam (or congestion, as the case may be). Friday morning, I awoke with the alarm at 5:15am to find myself congested, headached, and fevered. After I had a bite of breakfast, I was nauseated. And it was all downhill from there.
On the way to the airport, I passed out.
Upon arriving at the airport, I conducted a poll of myself: 34% of me wanted to try to go anyway, 33% of me wanted to go back and fly away some other day, and 33% of me just wanted to die and be done with it. So I plopped into a wheelchair and gave it a whirl (not literally). Then, I sat dazed in the wheelchair all through check-in, security, waiting at the gate, and boarding. Which makes me thankful for my patient and gracious father-in-law, who pushed me around on aforesaid wheelchair and waited with me until I boarded the plane. And thankful for my wife who attended to all the children in the airport, on the airplane, and here at home while I've recovered. Whew!
But I didn't have to go through security, which was nice. I mean, some feller frowned at me and patted me down, but I didn't have to walk through that blooming metal detector. And I did make it home, which is what a plurality of me wanted. And I am recovering, which generally just makes me feel better all around.
So it wasn't the end of the world, as a minority of me had hoped, but it yet might be a while before I visit an airport again, or have scrambled eggs.
posted by brandywine on Monday, November 27, 2006
4 Comments:
Oh phew! One of your sisters-in-law informed me of your troubles at "youth group" on Friday so I'm glad to hear a report and to know that you survived and are still alive!
Fabulously funny! Especially for such a pitiful episode. I'm glad that the majority ruled and that you made it home in one piece.
Oh, and I'm with Douglas Adams on that one.
Glad your loved ones helped to keep you in one piece.
How can a post be so funny and so horrible all at the same time?! I don't understand it, I just accept if.
:)
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