What's in a name?

The other day, I was talking to James and I asked him what he thought if we decided to name the baby 'Joseph'.

He was very pensive for a few moments and then declared, "If we name the baby Joseph, we will have to beat him up and throw him in a pit."

Oh well, back to the drawing board...that name was pretty much ruined anyway, by Mama Stalin.

Picture

We had pictures of the kids taken recently:

(And just in case you saw this, we'll tell you right up front that the background is not real.)

Name that Noise

Okay, all of you musical afficionados out there, here is your test for today. In mid-December, the U.S. Patent & Trademark office received an application to trademark the following sound:

A yell consisting of a series of approximately ten sounds, alternating between the chest and falsetto registers of the voice, as follows:
1. a semi-long sound in the chest register,
2. a short sound up an interval of one octave plus a fifth from the preceding sound,
3. a short sound down a Major 3rd from the preceding sound,
4. a short sound up a Major 3rd from the preceding sound,
5. a long sound down one octave plus a Major 3rd from the preceding sound,
6. a short sound up one octave from the preceding sound,
7. a short sound up a Major 3rd from the preceding sound,
8. a short sound down a Major 3rd from the preceding sound,
9. a short sound up a Major 3rd from the preceding sound,
10. a long sound down an octave plus a fifth from the preceding sound.

Know what it is!? I'll put the answer in the comments section in a few days. The ironical part of this is, of course, that the sound is already owned as a registered trademark.

Forget the Hospital

This afternoon, I was driving with Jonathon and James (trainee-agents-in-training) to the bank and we saw an ambulance race by, with its lights flashing.

I said, "Hey boys, look at the ambulance!"
Jonathon said, "What is an ambulance for?"
I corrected his grammar and said, "For what purpose is an ambulance used?" Ha, ha...just kidding. I told him, "If someone gets hurt very badly, and they need to get to the hospital very quickly, they call an ambulance to take them."
"Why do they need to go to the hospital?" he queried.
"Because if they don't get the doctor to fix them up, they might die."
He thought for a minute. "We won't need to go to the hospital...if we die, we will go to heaven...we won't want to ride in an ambulance, that would be silly!"

So, there's your child-like perspective for the day.

And, uh...speaking of hospitals, Agent M. has been discharged, although her condition hasn't really changed much. She has pain medication and orders to stay in THE bed.

A Day in the Life of Brandywine Bauer

I recently had a day where I felt like Jack Bauer. Not because I saved the country from a series of most unfortunate events or because I won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves, but because I was up for a whole day (and didn't have to eat or use the restroom!). Let's see if I can give you the basic idea.

• 6:00 AM - 7:00 AM - Agent Brandywine Bauer rises, performs his exercise routine and reads The Manual
• 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM - Agent B.B. eats breakfast with his children, and reads his e-mail.
• 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM - Agent B.B. reviews and updates several FBI financial records.
• 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM - Agent B.B attends a meeting with several other FBI agents and agents-in-training
• 10:00 AM - 11:00 AM - Agent B.B. resumes his review of the FBI financial records.
• 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM - Agent B.B. prepares important tax documents for several FBI agents.
• 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM - Agent B.B. eats lunch with his children.
• 1:00 PM - 2:00 PM - Agent B.B. puts two of his children to bed and then makes a quick trip to the Post Office where he sends a document to a remote agent in an undisclosed location.
• 2:00 PM - 3:00 PM - Agent B.B. resumes his review of the FBI financial records.
• 3:00 PM - 4:00 PM - Agent B.B. wraps up his financial reviews and updates for the week and prepares for a meeting later in the day with several agents-in-training.
• 4:00 PM - 5:00 PM - Agent B.B. has a short, surprise visit from his sister, Agent P., and then holds a meeting with several agents-in-training.
• 5:00 PM - 6:00 PM - Agent B.B. eats dinner with his children and several agents-in-training.
• 6:00 PM - 7:00 PM - Agent B.B. has some quality time with his children.
• 7:00 PM - 8:00 PM - Agent B.B. enjoys some treats with his children and several agents-in-training, and then puts his children to bed.
• 8:00 PM - 9:00 PM - Agent B.B. attends to his wife, Agent M., who has been experiencing severe pain due to kidney stones.
• 9:00 PM - 10:00 PM - Agent B.B. plays a couple games of Rook with Agent D. and agents-in-training B. & K..
• 10:00 PM - 11:00 PM - Agent B.B. finishes the games of Rook and resumes attending to Agent M.
• 11:00 PM - 12:00 AM - Agent B.B. attends to Agent M., who cannot get comfortable and is getting sick.
• 12:00 AM - 1:00 AM - Agent B.B. attends to Agent M. and prepares to take her to the hospital for treatment.
• 1:00 AM - 2:00 AM - Agent B.B. drives Agent M. to the hospital and sees that she is settled in.
• 2:00 AM - 3:00 AM - Agent B.B. attends to Agent M. while at the hospital.
• 3:00 AM - 4:00 AM - Agent B.B. attends to Agent M. while at the hospital.
• 4:00 AM - 5:00 AM - Agent B.B. attends to Agent M. while at the hospital.
• 5:00 AM - 6:00 AM - Agent B.B. retreats to his vehicle to repose and search out some breakfast.

So, there's season 1! But if the President calls, I'm going to tell him I can't do this anymore, at least not too many more days in a row!

Exercise!

So, I recently restarted an exercise program that Mary and I had been working on last spring. This was not one of those so-called "New Year's" resolutions, mind you - I had wanted to restart it two plus months ago, but had been delayed due to surgeries, sicknesses, travels, and stray meteorites.

But now I'm at it, and even though it is that much harder to get out of bed that much earlier, it sure feels GREAT to have all that extra energy throughout the day. It is a really interesting program that uses a secret mix of cardio-training, weights and / or resistance bands, and 101 different kinds of crunches to benefit the lower body, the upper body, and the ear drums.

And if I'm lucky, I might actually gain a little weight!

The attractiveness of suffering

Paul reminds Timothy to “kindle afresh”, or “stir up”, the gift of God, i.e. the Holy Spirit, that is within him[1]. The immediate question, then, is how does one go about stirring up a Deity, and why does this need to be done?

For reasons of need, one could look no further than the next verse. ‘God has not given us a spirit of timidity’, but altogether too often, we adopt one. We’re either afraid of man, afraid of success, or afraid of extricating ourselves from the stupor of complacence.

So, stir up the Spirit…because without Him, our vision clouds and dissipates, and our task – that which bridges the gap between our spiritual vision and our flesh-and-blood realm – becomes meaningless drudgery.

But how? I would posit to you that suffering – being “pressed until every pressable thing is pressed out”[2] – is one of the most effective ways to “stir up” the Spirit. Why? Because one who “suffers according to the will of God”[3] must cleave to Him, and only Him, and in so doing “entrust their soul to a faithful Creator.” This, almost by default, will cause the Spirit of power, love, and discipline to rise up in us.

One speaker last weekend observed that the next few years (until the imminent end of the age, no doubt) will be years of suffering, and the sooner we learn how to deal with it, the better off we’ll be. And as I found myself being inspired about stirring up the Spirit, and the need to have a vision and a task, the Spirit kept asking me Sunday night, “Are you really willing to suffer?”

Are you willing to suffer? As for me and my house, the “momentary, light afflictions”[4] of this present age are a small price to pay that we may “share the sufferings of Christ” and “rejoice with exultation at the revelation of His glory.”[5]

[1] II Timothy 1:6
[2] F. W. Sandford – The Path of Character
[3] I Peter 4:19
[4] II Corinthians 4:17
[5] I Peter 4:13

Welcome home!

The men's retreat was excellent; there is more that could, and should, be said about it, but I haven't the time now. As soon as I returned home, Mary succumbed to the illness she described here.

But I do have a quick moment for a story from The James Files. Many months ago, our family was enjoying some apricots. I don't remember if they were fresh or dried, but I explained to the boys that in Israel, they called these things משמש, or لون المشمش‏ [both of which are pronounced the same, I believe].

So last night, James was going though one of his monologues, and he shouted out at one of his toy men, which was apparently the object of his wrath, "You're a bad man...you're a meesh-meesh!"

That is almost as bad as being a Ned.