Notes from meeting

In meeting this morning, I gave an illustration based upon an heretofore unmentioned detail of the story found in the previous post. For the reader's edification, I offer it here as well.

While at the Atlanta airport and in the wheelchair and feeling nothing short of miserable, it occured to me mighty quick that I needed to think about something else. You know how when you think about how you're feeling nausous and uncomfortable and surrounded by hundreds of people who do not want to see you get sick, and that's all you can think about, it doesn't help any. Yeah. But I was too zoned out to ponder any complex economic theses or anything else and the only thing I could think of was a hymn. I couldn't even remember any of the verses, just the chorus. So I sat there, going over it again and again, and it really helped.

(I imagine that any passersby who happened to glance upon this pathetic man curled up in a wheelchair, covered with a blanket, sometimes obviously shivering, with his head in his hand and his lips moving in some inaudible, one-sided conversation, that they hoped they wouldn't have to sit next to that on the plane.)

The chorus was, "Oh, how I love Jesus, Oh, how I love Jesus, Oh, how I love Jesus, because He first loved me." I went over it too many times to remember. It didn't make me feel better, but it helped me make it home.

And the point of the story is this:

• We are all in an "airport."
• We are all waiting for our turn to fly home. Some get to fly soon, but others have to wait in the airport for a long time.
• We have an "illness." We know its nothing more than our love for Jesus, but that doesn't make us any less strange in the eyes of the other travelers.
• Sometimes, we get tired of waiting in the airport. We don't want to be there. We're tired of all the people around us. We just want to go home.

So it is at times like this, when we're tired of the airport, when we're tired of waiting, and when we're tired of the other travelers who just don't "get it", what an effective remedy it is to just close your eyes and sing, "Oh, how I love Jesus...Oh, how I love Jesus." It might not make you feel better, but it will help you make it home.

The wonders of air travel

Douglas Adams once wrote that, "It can hardly be coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the phrase, 'as pretty as an airport.' Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of special effort."

I would add that the Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport With Never-Ending Concourses And An Even Longer Name was never uglier than it was to me Friday morning. We flew back home Friday morning, but I almost couldn't do it.

Thursday morning, I felt a cold coming on. Thursday afternoon, it (the cold) was building steam (or congestion, as the case may be). Friday morning, I awoke with the alarm at 5:15am to find myself congested, headached, and fevered. After I had a bite of breakfast, I was nauseated. And it was all downhill from there.

On the way to the airport, I passed out.

Upon arriving at the airport, I conducted a poll of myself: 34% of me wanted to try to go anyway, 33% of me wanted to go back and fly away some other day, and 33% of me just wanted to die and be done with it. So I plopped into a wheelchair and gave it a whirl (not literally). Then, I sat dazed in the wheelchair all through check-in, security, waiting at the gate, and boarding. Which makes me thankful for my patient and gracious father-in-law, who pushed me around on aforesaid wheelchair and waited with me until I boarded the plane. And thankful for my wife who attended to all the children in the airport, on the airplane, and here at home while I've recovered. Whew!

But I didn't have to go through security, which was nice. I mean, some feller frowned at me and patted me down, but I didn't have to walk through that blooming metal detector. And I did make it home, which is what a plurality of me wanted. And I am recovering, which generally just makes me feel better all around.

So it wasn't the end of the world, as a minority of me had hoped, but it yet might be a while before I visit an airport again, or have scrambled eggs.

Thanks!

During the past year, I've had an awakening: that people are more important than the grindstone to which a keep my nose fastidiously applied. Of course, everyone would agree with that, but its entirely another to structure one's life accordingly, which can be easier said than done. But that's the goal.

So, in this spirit, I submit the following - some of the people for whom I've been thankful this past year...not an exhaustive list, again, and not in any particular order, of course.

· MEA – for being patient and kind, loving and supportive
· CKS – for being willing to follow the call, even when the consequences of following are unclear
· ERA – for opening her mouth (and pen) and allowing the Spirit to fill it
· AFM – for being courageous enough to love what she does, without being defined by it
· ADM – for inspiring me to live like I were dying
· MSB – for inspiring me to give thanks and rejoice in the consequent vision of Jesus, even when it hurts
· RSA – for patiently persisting in well-doing
· WCJ – for keeping in touch while busy with other stuff
· KMA – for not jumping the ‘fulfillment of every vision’ gun
· KJM – for being so blooming upbeat and positive
· LSN – for not dropping off the edge of the world
· JBT – for being faithful to that which you’ve been called
· FDT – for illustrating Eph 5:22 so skillfully
· DJ – for being real and not mincing words about it
· CJB – for being so skillful at reaching my voice mail, and trying again

Happy Thanksgiving!

If you have a few moments, I recommend directing your attention to this timely article about giving thanks.

Our citizens are privileged to live in the world's freest country, where the hope of the American dream is within the reach of every person. ... On this Thanksgiving Day, and throughout the year, let us show our gratitude for the blessings of freedom, family, and faith, and may God continue to bless America. - President Bush

I'm just crackers about cheese

So the most unusual thing happened to me the other evening last week. I was preparing a snack of cheese and crackers (which is my all-time favourite snack) and slicing some cheese on our, um, cheese-slicer. All of a sudden, and without warning, I might add, a small fleck of cheese "bounced" (?) off the cheese slicer and into my eyeball, which, for the record, was a safe distance from the slicing instrument, according to the latest OSHA regulations. I staggered to the washroom to extract this cheese-fleck, and escaped mostly unscathed.

This experience was so bizarre, I began to wonder if Melissa was nearby, lurking in the inky shadows...

The First Test of ParentHood

When I was in Yellowstone, some of us guys (of the male persuasion) developed The Five Tests of Manhood, that is, that having accomplished said tests would give one confidence, beyond all shadow of a doubt, that he was "A Man." One of them was plucking a hair from a buffalo...another was bike-riding the Lower Loop (approx 85 miles and 3,000 ft change in elevation)...and there were others that I won't take the time to mention now, mainly because I can't remember them.

I thought of all this recently when Mary and I took One Of The Five Tests of Parenthood, to wit, to navigate an entire family where the children outnumber the parents two to one and the baggage outnumber all of them put together almost three to one through TWO airports in one 24-hour period.

And this is what we did, having been given the means and opportunity to fly to Georgia for Thanksgiving. Here are a few highlights:

• Going through security was laughable it was so crazy. Here we had seven carryon items and a laptop, and everyone had to take off their shoes, even the smallest of our number, who is a mere 18 months old. But the funny part was getting Rachel to go through the metal detector by herself. "Come here, Rachel. That's right! Just walk normally, Rachel. Keep your hands at your sides and no sudden movements, please. And no jokes about bombs, boys, or you'll have us arrested."
• The two older boys were completely fascinated with being in the airplane, and especially the take-off. As we left the tarmac and began ascending, Jonathon hollared, "Oh, Daddy, I just love riding on airplanes!"
• Our carrier, which I will not name here, except to say that it rhymes with Belta, feigned the loss of three of our four carseats. Only one of them was at baggage claim, you see, so I went to baggage services to fetch the other three. The service woman who "helped" me worked on our case very diligently: she looked in the backroom for them, she listened intently to the dial tone on her phone (just in case!), she looked "downstairs" for them, and she frowned at her computer screen in a most professional and serious manner. But she couldn't find them. So, she went into the back room to get us some loaners and lo, and behold, as she opened the door to said 'back room', I spied OUR carseats sitting right there, in plain view. So I grabbed them and marched off to rejoin my family which, by this time, had been sitting in the car for almost an hour.

So, we left our home at 2:30 PM EST on Friday, and I finally lay down to sleep at 1:40 AM EST on Saturday. Nothing like traveling abroad, of course, but with a family, and a family's worth of loot in tow, it sure made for the adventure. Our first day here, which was an extended family reunion nearby, was a smashing success, but I don't have the time to describe it more fully right now. Besides, I've just about reached my word lim

Check this out

(Editor's note: M called this morning. M says all pain is gone, suddenly. M says, "Maybe...I was healed." M might be coming home today!)

And, for the benefit of my readers who hail from south of the Mason-Dixon line:


This "manly man’s barbecue grill" features a 5.7-liter V-8 HEMI engine, and can cook 240 hot dogs in 3 minutes!

The latest thing

Apparently, the nature of recent events has made the timing of my last post very not funny. Mary, it turns out, was developing an ailment which, even now, remains undiagnosed.

M is uncomfortable most of yesterday evening. M has severe pains throughout the night. M calls midwife first thing in the morning. Midwife tells M to go to the emergency room. M goes. M stays. M is still there this evening.

Prognostications received throughout the day seem to indicate a) There is nothing wrong with the unborn child (although, as a side-note, we learned his gender...but I ain't gonna spill the beans in this forum - you can either contact me directly or learn through the grapevine), b) There is probably something wrong in her kidney or bladder or something related to them, and c) we won't learn more until tomorrow.

So this means that in the last three weeks, my mother, father, and wife have visited the emergency room for various reasons. Who's next?

It is days like today that inspire me to thank God I'm not a single parent and to pray for M's speedy recovery.

I do not like green eggs and ham

All I can say is, you gotta love gestational diabetes. I've never had it myself, but Mary has all but been diagnosed with it, which means that she has to watch her diet carefully. Absent the official diagnosis, though, she doesn't have to keep up with all the additional rigors associated with said diabetes that would otherwise follow.

So when I say she has to watch her diet carefully, what I really mean is we get to eat some really great food. For one dinner last week, we enjoyed some tenderloin steaks, asparagus wrapped in bacon, and sweet potato. We've had a number of great breakfasts including eggs, bacon, and grits. This morning, we had this oats, coconut, almond, and spice combo which really hit the spot. No complaints from me, except for when she pulls out one of those protein shakes, which sort of taste like a vanilla shake made with sand instead of vanilla. She doesn't share those usually, thankfully.

In the interest of full disclosure, let the record reflect that I am not glad, per se, that Mary's got this particular issue, and it is true that everything would be more or less easier if she were healed, but, you know, the Scriptures do exhort us to give thanks in everything.

The Seminar

Well, I attended a Church Management and Tax Seminar in Providence (read: Warwick), RI today. I learned some new things, picked up a few tips, and got a few ideas to mull over. I also managed to stay awake to the very end of the seminar, no thanks to having stayed up later than usual the night before. But, as I reckon it, I won't be reposing upon ye olde deathbede, wishing I'd spent less time with friends and more time sleeping.

I won't bore you with any of the technical details of the seminar, since most of you will be primarily interested in the Humorous Anecdote From LunchTime, and, since that is the only snippet from the day I'm going to bother to share with you.

But first, I had been warned by someone who had been to this seminar before that the speaker's approach seemed to be to emphasize the many legal requirements of churches in the hope that the church management neophytes in the audience would be duped into buying their systems and programs. Only then would the actual content, seen through this skeptical lense, prove helpful, which I found to be more or less true. So, on that note...

I went to lunch with a few of the other seminar attendees, and one pastor declared that, after hearing the morning's content, he would rather just be a volunteer usher. We concluded that this was the reasoning behind why David said he would "rather be a doorkeeper in the House of the Lord." Indeed, a state of ignorance of the fiduciary and legal obligations of church officials is, not to put too fine a point on it, bliss. And you wonder why I cut the grass.

Okay, so that wasn't a Very Humorous Anecdote, and perhaps, on a better day, I wouldn't even consider it a Humorous Anecdote, just a Plain-Old, Run-Of-The-Mill Anecdote, but beggars can't be choosers, you know.

And I'm off to bed before I get cantankerous.

Throw the bums out?

Remember to Vote on Tuesday!

"While it's important that conservatives not turn a blind eye to the shortcomings of the Republican leadership, it's far more important that we not turn leadership over to the blind." - Mark Alexander.

"Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad name." - Henry Kissinger

"You will expect me to discuss the late election. Well, as nearly as I can learn, we did not have enough votes on our side." - Herbert Hoover

In the news today...

This was too good to pass up...

Background story: Kerry makes apology to troops